Becoming a Better Mother – Initial Check-in

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I don't know many mothers that think they are wonderful.

That's sad, isn't it?

Of course, none of us are wonderful on our own. But through Christ we can be great.

Mom's you ARE valuable. There is no such thing as “just a mom.”

I believe William Ross Wallace was right when he said, “The hand that rocks the cradle rules the world.'

I don't want this series to ever leave a mother feeling condemned. Challenged perhaps, but definitely not condemned. We all come into the role of mother with our own baggage, our own unique set of circumstances, and our very own individual children (of varying personalities).

If I ever sound harsh, you can be sure I'm talking to myself!

Like many of you, I have cried in the dark, thinking I've messed up my poor children before they had a good chance to live! Other days I've thought, “Hey. I've got a good thing going here.”

Motherhood is a rollercoaster ride. An exciting one. A difficult one. A joyous one. A self-sacrificing one.

In beginning this series, I want to bring to your attention something I read from Renee Ellison. (I have searched her blog to find out where I read these words, but I can't find them. Maybe it was in one of her books. I'm not sure. But I know it was from her keyboard. Forgive my lack of specific linking, and possible mis-quotation! But the general gist is here. I promise.)

Would you like to have yourself for a mother?

What do you think?

Sometimes I would. When I'm happy and fun, or when I sit and listen to looong tales. Or when I tend to the needs of a sick little one.

Other times, I most definitely would not want me for a mother, especially when I'm harsh,  impatient, or selfish.

No one is perfect. But we still strive to be the best we can be for our kids.

I think this is a good place to begin.

Let's mull this question over: what it would be like to have a mother just like you? I'm sure there are things you can see immediately  that need to be changed. That's good. Take note of them. But please make sure you look for the good things too.

We will continue this series next week. . .

Anyone brave enough to tell us what things you like (or don't like) about yourself as a mother?

If you want to read the brief introduction for this series, it's here.

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  1. I think I like and dislike the same things about myself as a mother as you do.

    I’m very creative. I like being artsy and crafty. I don’t pretending. I like making fun things. I’m not afraid to make messes. I’m good at comforting. I’m good at taking care of sick people. I like princess movies and Disney songs.

    I don’t like my impatient. I don’t like how low my threshold is some days. I hate when my impatience causes me to be snippy or yell.

  2. What encouraging thoughts! I, like you, have cried in the dark for fear of my bad mothering causing my child(ren) to be “messed up”. I tend to be very critical of myself and I agree with you that we should find the good in our mothering, along with the bad. I like the thought, “Would you like to have yourself as a mother?”That thought can really get me motivated to do better!

    I like, about myself,that I am so devoted to my children and cherish their unique preciousness, but I don’t like that I can being too hard on them and too selfish with what “Susie wants”. Thanks for your thoughts! God bless you.

  3. I’m not so much with the nurturing (thank goodness we have all been mostly healthy these 6 years). I have a hard time getting past perfectionism when my kids are crafting … I prefer to let them ALONE to do something, so I don’t get tense and snippy, but then it’s like I’m throwing something at them so I can go do something else, which isn’t true!

    1. I had to chuckle about the crafting. I know it can be hard to let them alone with it 🙂 It is always an adventure when getting out the glue and glitter!

  4. I have been mulling (is that the right word???) over this for the past week. Thank you for the self-eval opportunity. I am not so good with nurturing. Part of my mission statement (from inspired to action) is to be warm and loving and it is hard! Not sure what my issue is there. Anyway, thanks for this chance to have an objective view of ourselves. Very helpful!

    1. I’d use the word mulling here too 🙂

      I appreciate your honesty here. Can I tell you something? I know quite a few moms who have a hard time being warm and loving. Me included. Some days it comes naturally and other days it doesn’t. Some kids are easier to nurture too. Others seem to balk at everything.

      I remember a conversation with a friend discussing times when the kids were wanting lots of hugs and we were wanting space! Sometimes we get over done and want to tell everyone to leave us alone. It happens 🙂

      Thanks so much for joining int he conversation Abbie.

  5. Thank you, thank you, thank you. I will mull this over, for I know I would NOT want me for a mother.:( But you have given me hope and determination to start again in the morning, forgetting what is behind and striving for what IS ahead.

    1. I’m sorry it took me so long to reply to your comment (it’s been a long week here!).

      It is so good that you have determination to start fresh in the morning. We can always do that.

      Your comment made me think of these verses:

      ” Because of the LORD’s great love we are not consumed,
      for his compassions never fail.
      They are new every morning;
      great is your faithfulness.
      I say to myself, “The LORD is my portion;
      therefore I will wait for him.”

      The LORD is good to those whose hope is in him,
      to the one who seeks him;
      it is good to wait quietly
      for the salvation of the LORD. ”

      Lamentations 3:22-26

      I’m so grateful for God’s faithfulness and His ability (and willingness) to forgive our mistakes. Keep looking toward Him.

      God bless you as you continue to strive to be the best mother you can be!