Becoming a Better Mother: More than a Lifeguard

This post may contain affiliate links which won’t change your price but will share some commission.
Today we have our first ever guest post in the Becoming a Better Mother Series. I am excited to introduce you to Stef because her posts always motivate me to strive for the best. If there is anyone who is working hard toward becoming a better mother, it's her! I hope you will be encouraged and inspired.

“Give me a second”, “Just hold on a minute”,

“Can't you figure it out”, “I'll be right there.”

They want more of me – yet I give them less.  They need me … and I schedule them into a bracket that is more convenient for me – always labeled LATER.  I wonder – what would selfless mothering look like.

You see those moms – sitting back not engaged looking more like lifeguards than mothers.

What happens when we climb our red lifeguard chairs and observe our children rather than interact with them?

My mom worked data entry (back when there were typewriters) so she stayed home with us.  She typed downstairs – while we played around her.  We were not permitted to interrupt her because the more work she completed the more money she made.  My dad worked nights and traveled for his job.  I was left in the care of my sister – 6yrs older than me, who had no desire to be my babysitter.  More times than not I played alone in an imaginary world full of imaginary friends.  Friends who were always happy to see me and always had time for me.  I was lonely.

Of course the first promise I made as a new mother, “I will never be unavailable for my children.” I've broken that promise.  A stay-at-home mom – still no longer available for those staying at home.  Can I tell you something … most times it's selfish.  Give me just one more chapter, one more worship song, one more scoop of ice-cream, five more minutes in bed, after this show, two more minutes online . . . these minutes these seconds – they add up in a child's heart!

And if putting off my children wasn't bad enough – to make up the time I've turned multitasking into a burden. Moms naturally can easily multitask, so I am challenging myself not to do it.  Rather than bring a book I'm jumping in.  Instead of sitting back I'm picking up the wii remote.  I've put down the phone to push a swing.  Join me?

God comes alongside us when we need it, not just when it fits best into His schedule. How we respond to our child's needs gives them a living example of what God wants to offer them in a much larger realm of their lives.

-Grace Based Parenting Dr. Tim Kimmel

Stef is wife to Thad and homeschool mom to two superheroes in Florida. Stef writes at Educating Layton and is co-founder of The Homeschool Village.

Linking up to:

Raising Homemakers

Similar Posts

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *


  1. This is a great reminder. I struggle daily with the balance between necessary work that needs to be done to keep the home running smoothly, and giving my attention to my little one. It’s difficult to know when to gently train him to wait, and when to unselfishly give him my full attention. But I think a good starting point is that when I’m doing something that’s indirectly serving him (preparing a meal, for example) it’s not necessarily selfish to ask him to wait, but when I want to do something only for my own pleasure, that’s when I need to learn to lay my life down and put him first. Hmm, inspired good thoughts…

    1. This is just it! The fine line we tread. Striving to complete our duties and loving and giving at the same time. It’s definitely not an easy task.

      I like what you said about training him to wait at certain times. That is important and necessary. It’s good for kids to know that there are times when waiting is needed.

      I believe when we are giving them good attention and focused time with us, kids are more willing to learn this. I know I also feel more confident about making them wait when I’ve already spent time with them.

      Thank you so much for adding your thoughts!

  2. I’m guilty of this…but many times, my kids are ALL asking me for something at once, or when I am changing a diaper, or touching raw meat, or…let’s just say, it’s not always that I’m brushing them off!

    1. You’re right. There are many occasions where we need to say, “Wait a minute,” for the kids safety, or because it’s just not possible to do anything else at that point in time (and sometimes we need to for our sanity).

      I do find it easy to get sucked into doing what I want to do, just because I want to do it. No matter the time. So, I have to constantly remind myself of what I am doing and why. I thought I’d be more mature by now . . .

  3. This is such a great post. I’m treading that line right now as I get further into blogging. I need to set firm limits on myself and give as much as I can to the kids!!

    (my husband calls it “remote parenting” – when parents sit back and give commands instead of engaging.)

    I just found you through the DIY forums! So fun!

    1. How fun that you found me through the DIY forums!

      I like your husband’s term, “remote parenting.” That describes it exactly!

      Blogging can a big time suck if you let it. You are smart to set firm limits. I am always having to check myself and remember what is really important in the end (it’s not the blog!).

  4. I think this blog is great. I love all of your ideas…the first post I ever discovered from you was the Lemony Foot Scrub one. Yum! Thanks for all the great stuff 🙂 I wanted to nominate you for the Versatile Blogger Award. Accepting comes with a few rules….

    1. Thank the person who awarded you and link back to them in your post.
    2. Tell 7 Random facts about yourself.
    3. Pass the award on to 7 new found (or old favorite) bloggers.
    4. Contact each blogger you want to pass the award on to and let them know you’ve done so, and let the giver of your award know you accept it… or not.


    be well,

  5. Wow! I needed this. My little girl (7mo) has been sick and I have been more worried about not being able to clean than allowing her to be my moment. I found your from Friday Blog hop. Thanks for posting and I can’t wait to check out the rest of this series!