Disappointment (And an Unglued Giveaway)
This is a guest post from New York Times best-selling author, Lysa TerKeurst. I can relate to what she shares here and I think you will, too. We all come a little unglued some times . . .
Lysa's new book, Unglued: Making Wise Choices in the Midst of Raw Emotions, was recently released, and she is giving away two copies here today. See below to enter.
Disappointment . . .
The other day a friend asked me if I ever get disappointed. I said yes and threw out a spiritually sound answer. Then the next day it happened. A really big disappointment whacked me upside the head and sent my heart sinking. I'd been asked to speak at a really big event—one of the biggest of my life—and then things fell apart.
Invited, thrilled, excited, honored, and included, turned into . . . uninvited, bummed, saddened, disillusioned, and left out. And while I still had solid spiritual perspectives to hold on to, my flesh just needed a minute to say, “Stink!”
Because sometimes things do stink. And disappointments come up that make us doubt God really does work for our good, like today's key verse reminds us.
Right when I wanted say “stink” a few more times, I spotted a bowl that'd been sitting on my dining room table for weeks. My daughter Brooke found some caterpillars a while back, put them in a bowl, and had been holding them hostage ever since. I mean she'd been lovingly admiring them underneath a layer of cellophane.
Wouldn't you know that those caterpillars formed cocoons inside that unlikely environment. And then, as I was muttering, “Stink!” I glanced across the table to that bowl and sucked the word back down my throat.
The cocoons were empty.
Expecting glorious butterflies, I was confused when I got right over the bowl and closely examined the product of my little girl's hopes for new life.
Moths.
I just had to chuckle. Yet another thing in my day that wasn't quite right.
Or was it?
When Brooke spotted the moths, she was beyond thrilled. Grabbing my hand, she led me outside, ripped off the plastic barrier, and watched the beauty of tiny wings beating . . . beating . . . beating . . . and finally fluttering into flight.
Hmmmm.
As I watched Brooke's sheer delight, I realized she couldn't have cared less if they were moths or butterflies. Creatures that once only knew the dirt of the earth had just been given the gift of flight. Reaching, soaring up, up, and away.
And with that realization, this simple creature pulled up the corners of her mouth into a smile.
I decided to take one step away from disappointment and take one step toward the good God was working through the loss of the speaking event. I don't know why that amazing opportunity was offered to me, only to be taken away. But I do know this . . . I'd rather rejoice in what is and what will be, than wallow in what isn't. After all, disappointment only stings as long as I let it.
Sometimes it can be really hard to keep our emotions in control on a daily basis. In Lysa's new book, Unglued, she shares personal experience and scriptural wisdom to help us make right, godly and healthy decisions with our reactions. To order your copy of Unglued, click here. Or enter to win one of two copies below.
About Unglued:
God gave us emotions to experience life, not destroy it! Lysa TerKeurst admits that she, like most women, has had experiences where others bump into her happy and she comes emotionally unglued. We stuff, we explode, or we react somewhere in between. What do we do with these raw emotions? Is it really possible to make emotions work for us instead of against us? Yes, and in her usual inspiring and practical way, Lysa will show you how. Filled with gut-honest personal examples and biblical teaching, Unglued will equip you to: Know with confidence how to resolve conflict in your important relationships. Find peace in your most difficult relationships as you learn to be honest but kind when offended. Identify what type of reactor you are and how to significantly improve your communication. Respond with no regrets by managing your tendencies to stuff, explode, or react somewhere in between. Gain a deep sense of calm by responding to situations out of your control without acting out of control.
About Unglued:To enter to win one of two copies of Unglued: Making Wise Choices in the Midst of Raw Emotions:
- Simply leave a comment below telling us what situations cause you to become unglued.
For optional extra entries do any of the following and leave a separate comment for each:
- Take the Unglued assessment test and leave a comment here telling us the result.
Giveaway will end on Thursday, August 23 at 9pm PST.
Disclosure: I received a copy of Unglued at no cost to me. Some of the links in this post are affiliate links.
The first two thoughts that popped in my head when I think of becoming unglued is when my adult autistic son has a meltdown (especially in a public place ) this really makes me feel very unclued. Also My other adult son has special needs and people will stare and say hurtful things which he understands. This has also caused me to become unglued. Have been trying to turn my moments of becoming unglued to moments of education for others instead In a nice way of course 🙂 not in an unclued way !
I get unglued when my kids don’t listen and fight all day long. When my husband doesn’t ask/consider me when he goes out.
Stuffer who collect retaliation rocks
In this relationship you do not express your emotions but stuff them down. You hold on to each disagreement or frustration and form internal rocks of bitterness that you later hurl at the other person when you’ve reached your limit. The rocks are all the proof of how wrong they are and you can’t wait for the right opportunity to prove your case. Lysa TerKeurst’s Biblically-based book, Unglued, will help you know healthy ways to address conflict when it arises. She’ll help you understand how asking one profound question will add more peace and honesty in your relationships than you
some days what doesn’t make me unglued lol … having to repeat myself constantly to children who are not listening, dealing with people who seem intent on bringing me down, some days just dealing with life as a wife of a trucker who is only home 3-4 days a month. This book sounds like it was written specifically with me in mind! 🙂
I’m a ‘stuffer who builds barriers’ … the description of the assessment was so true to me it was scary!
I become unglued when I’m on repeat “no. no. no. no. You better not!” I hate being the broken record. I also become unglued when I feel like I have to parent my husband. I shouldn’t have to break things down for him or give him specific instructions when he’s alone with our children. He’s not the babysitter! I become unglued so much, I’m hanging by a thread.
I’m an Exploder Who Shames Themselves. . . That in itself makes me ashamed
I become unglued when things do go as I think they should.
When I know I need to do something-doesn’t get accomplished for some reason – then my husband comments on it. I feel like a failure already, then on top of it he said something, double depressing, he’s disappointed, Im disappointed, and progress can’t be made until that task is accomplished, and I’m usually hungry when this all happens…we call it “hangry”. (hungry+angry)= unglued.
Truthfully, messy messes that could have been avoided make me feel and atbtimes come unglued! I am looking forward to this book!
I completed the unglued assessment test….thank you!
I become unglued when my children do not listen to me or when they do not play well with each other.
I become unglued when things don’t go as I have planned. When the kids are disobedient and cause a slow down which in turn messes up my plans. Simple, sad and true. My daily prayer: Please God, give me grace.
Adella
I become unglued when things don’t go as planned, when things seem terribly unfair to myself or others, and especially when I can’t or don’t meet my own expectations.
“Survey says”: I’m a stuffer who builds barriers.
I become unglued when I have job stress and don’t know how to balance and have margin with job and home life.
I get upset when my kids don’t follow directions that lead to messes or mistakes and when they bicker and whine.
Unfortunately I am an Exploder who Blames. I am going to get this book even if I don’t win it. I guess I just don’t see my own faults….. ;0( I REALLY need to work on this!
I wonder where my kids pick up on this bad behavior…… ~wink~
Thanks
2 things cause me to come unglued: if the kids
won’t stop whining, and if I have to tell the kids to do something
more than 3 times before they listen (i.e. put your
shoes on) and we’re short on time
When the whole household doesn’t pull together to keep a clean house.
I’m dealing with toddlers and their favorite thing to say is “no”, of course. They also are too young to just explain the problem to me and they burst into fits – that is not my favorite.
Loosing my job last fall!
bedtime!!!! everyone is fighting me, moving in the wrong direction, insisting that twenty minutes past their bedtime is the exact time they absolutely start some new project – I always look back and wonder why I can’t seem to help getting sucked into my frustrations at that time of the day.
God truly is everywhere… peeking around corners and providing hidden blessings at every moment. I forget this all the time. Thank you for the reminder. Love.
Just completed the assessment. Very accurate!
What doesn’t unglue me these days! A toddler and preschooler … alone all day on top of a mountain an hour from the nearest hospital/Starbucks/grocer… argh! (And the only Starbucks happens to be *in* the hospital… the only time I actually get gourmet coffee is when it’s accompanied by and ER visit – which happens surprisingly way too often on a farm.)
I recently became unglued at our financial situation, and much to my horror, lashed out at my teenage son! I am not surprised to discover that I am an exploder who shames themselves. Fortunately, my son and I were able to talk about my reaction, as well as his behavior, and we both walked away from a bad situation, assured of our love for each other, and a shining example of God’s grace!
In the midst of my husband’s unemployed and facing losing our home, I seem to become unglued easier than before.
That’s easy. When a family member disappoints me for the umpteenth time, speaking loudly to me that I am not worth her time!!
Too many things to count. But stress often causes me to become unglued
I come unglued easy when I have too many things going on at one. If I over schedule then I stress and that leads to becoming unglued real fast!
when i first heard about this book, i thought, “oh, that’s one that i really don’t need to read.” Then yesterday my dear husband and I had a disagreement and I came unglued! UGH. Guess God was laughing when i thought that i didn’t need to read the book…and just wanted me to be aware that, uh, yeah, maybe i do need to read it!
Its been a stressful summer for me. Work, kids, husband…my list can go on!
i did the online assessment and it said that i am an exploder who blames others. Not pretty. but probably accurate. 🙁
I took the assessment test…and I’m an exploder that blames others…definitely not what I want to be. Room for improvement though!
I become unglued when several days attack me all at
once. Trying to juggle work and home really seems too much
I come unglued when I just can’t hold it all in anymore…takes a while & i can take a lot but then sometimes it just all has to come out.
Oh, and according to the assessment, I am a stuffer who builds barriers.
Exploder who shame themselves is my assessment result. I agree with this. I really wish I was better at not getting so upset, so fast. Quick to anger-that’s most of the time. when I don’t say anything-I blow up even more. I would love to get this book.
My breaking point is happens when my older son and daughter start arguing.
I’m a stuffer who builds barriers…that pretty much hit me on the head…especially in my marriage.